**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You did what with his pubic hair?
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