The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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