He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
