I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
