just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My dick has a subreddit
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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