Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
