I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize