So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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