You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
