We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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