he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
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What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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