i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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