Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Blood and glitter go together right?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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