Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
