Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
