Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
