She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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