Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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