I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
