in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
