I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
