When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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