Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
