god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
