OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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