i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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