This girl is more easily done than said...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
