I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Randomize
