Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
