i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize