I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
