Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize