so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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