Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I am mentally ready for anal.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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