i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
