I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
