Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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