We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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