can u get pink eye on your cock?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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