Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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