the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
