Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
