Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
my phone needs a breathalizer
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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