im about as happy as oj after his trial
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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