We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
