just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
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