but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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