your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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