why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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