Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
