Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
