Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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