So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
