Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
