he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
