Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
