You really coming over, don't trick.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
