Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
operation harelip BJ is a go
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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