how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
