i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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