Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize